Achieve Your Dreams, the world’s pre-eminent site for supporting men and women who have suffered a relationship loss , and promoting better relationships presents another insight into assisting men and women to find better and more satisfying relationships.
This blog is intended for adults wanting to understand relationships and forge strong lasting relationships.
Some relationships are strong and need little maintenance – these are usually longstanding relationships that last for many years – most people have these – even though it can be months or years since the last contact the conversation flows like it was yesterday.
However most relationships need a little more care to maintain. Here are a few pointers to assist with this end.
Contact people you care about regularly, and this includes your parents. Even though they ask you the same awkward questions each time you talk, they only do this because they care – the day will come when you can no longer contact them. Included in this group are siblings and relations. Even though you maybe many miles away and extremely busy, that is no excuse with the technology available in the 21st Century.
You will see and talk you your close friends and coworkers almost on a daily basis, but what about your former friends, colleagues and others you have met in the past. Keep in contact where possible and remember the old adage, “It’s not what you know, but who you know!”
Show people you care about them. This can be particularly difficult for some people, but try. Everyone needs to know they are cared about, regardless of how you may perceive them and their life. Special events may be very important to your friends – try to remember birthdays and special occasions – there are many apps to help remind you of these important events.
Be excited to reunite – show excitement when you see people who are special to you – it may mean more than you realise to them. If someone phones or calls around unexpectedly, unless you are in the middle of a major crisis, make time for them – switch off or put phones on silent, switch off tv’s and other distractions.
Use active listening skills, try not to interrupt or finish sentences, but listen and relay back to the speaker what you think you heard – this minimises misunderstandings. Try not to get defensive or plan your response while the other is speaking – you may miss important information. Acknowledge that you have heard what the speaker is saying, you don’t have to agree with it, but once the speaker knows they have been heard it will reduce the possibility they will get frustrated because they don’t feel they are being heard.
Our memory works by being reminded of things that have happened to us, and that’s OK – it helps the conversation to keep going – try not to ‘top’ the event the speaker just mentioned – it may be very important to them – you will get another opportunity to share your memory another time.
Share the conversation. This should be quite natural to most, but to some they want to be the centre of the conversation, and are sometimes unaware of this. I once had a friend who could turn the conversation to him within 3 sentences and keep it there, regardless of how the conversation opened. Sadly I had to let go of this friend. The best conversations flow – you say something, the other person adds to it and so it goes. The conversation will naturally change subjects as they are exhausted.
Be reliable. If you make arrangements keep them unless an emergency arises and then message or call to let them know. If you are unsure you can do something tell you friend you will confirm at a later date and do it. Your friend may be really looking forward to the arrangement you made and will feel very let down if you don’t show.
Maintain trust. Friends swop personal information and mostly expect their confidences to be respected. Don’t betray confidences or gossip about your friend, regardless of the temptation. To get a friend you must be a friend.
If you follow these simple suggestions you will get a reputation as ‘friend material’
This is what we have covered in the blog today:
- Contact regularly
- Show you care
- Be excited to reunite
- Use active listening skills
- Share the conversation
- Be reliable – message if you can’t make a meeting
- Maintain trust – don’t gossip or betray confidences