Why Speaking To Women Is So Important

Achieve Your Dreams, the world’s pre-eminent site for supporting and promoting men, presents another insight into assisting men to find an attractive female lifetime partner.

This blog is intended for single and unattached heterosexual males over 18 years, looking for a monogamous relationship and caters to divorced, widowed and separated men who are looking to start another relationship.

Many men are nervous around women, some have little confidence, some are shy and others think they aren’t ‘good enough’. Where does this lack of confidence come from? In many cases it happens in school – a guy may like a girl and is rejected, or thinks he is – it doesn’t take long to lose confidence – sometimes only once, sometimes twice or three times. TV shows have the most attractive men and women and it doesn’t take a genius to work out an average guy would have little chance – or so they think.

We act like we think, and so if you have no self belief, you will rarely approach a woman, which is a shame for both of you. Here are two old adages, “Beauty is in the eye of the beholder,” and “Handsome is as handsome does.” Adages tend grow because many people have similar experiences and, once accepted, become part of the culture.

Men tend to be very visual – a man can ‘fall’ for an attractive woman just on her looks and often thinks women are the same. They aren’t – women tend to work on feelings, and so, if you make a woman feel great, you have a great chance of winning her heart.

So if you suffer from lack of confidence around women, what can you do? Try concentrating on her, and not you and your needs – that has proved helpful in many cases. Even in today’s day and age, a woman will rarely approach a man she doesn’t know and there are many reasons for this. Most women want a bold, brave man and being frightened of her gives her power she doesn’t want or need. If you don’t make an approach she may think you have no interest or you are gay. She can only choose from the guys that show interest in her, so why not throw your hat in the ring? Practice in a mirror or with friends if you lack confidence – most women will not make a fool of you, despite what your imagination may tell you – they usually don’t want a fuss and will usually walk away.

For more information get this FREE eBook https://ayd.net.au/books-and-offers/

Good luck on your journey

52 Places To Meet Your Perfect Partner

Achieve Your Dreams, the world’s pre-eminent site for supporting and promoting men, presents another insight into assisting men to find an attractive female lifetime partner.

This blog is intended for single and unattached heterosexual males over 18 years, looking for a monogamous relationship and caters to divorced, widowed and separated men who are looking to start another relationship.

There are 168 hours in a week — let’s say you need 8 hours sleep each night, and you work full time Monday to Friday, which including commuting and meals times are 12 hours per day, that still leaves 52 hours for most people. What you do with those hours will dictate your success or otherwise in finding a lifelong partner.

So let’s start with where you live

1 Neighbourhood

You are part of a community. Maybe you live at home, with friends or alone.

2 Other members of your household

If you live with friends and share accommodation, they will have contacts that may assist you. Your immediate family members may be able to the same. If you live on your own ensure you get out as often as you can.

3 Neighbours

If you live in an urban area you will probably have neighbours — be friendly and try to get to know them — most people know at least 250 people — I couldn’t believe it either, but when I checked I knew twice that amount and then some.

4 Borrow a cup of flour

Although it’s not as common as it was you could knock on a neighbour’s door and ask to borrow a cup of flour, sugar, milk. It’s a great way to start a conversation and you get the added bonus of returning the borrowed goods.

5 Strata / management committee

If you live in an apartment building with other residents there is normally a committee that meets periodically to manage the building. Normally you have to own an apartment within the building to be eligible, but even as a lessee you could ask to sit in on the meeting and you will meet the most active members of your building.

6 Door to door salespeople

Although it isn’t as common as it used to be, there are still people who go and knock on each door in a neighbourhood — most want to sell you something, so be wary, but if you are new to the area it may be a way of getting information about the community. There is always the religious groups who want to ‘convert’ you, and normally on a weekend.

7 Extended family

You may live away from your immediate family, but have extended family members — grandparents, aunts and uncles, cousins, nieces and nephews (depending on their age). These are a great way to get introductions to women and because they already know a family member you will have something in common.

8 Family gatherings

This again is a great way to meet other people — there are a host of these types of events — parties and celebrations, family reunions, ‘house warming’ events, christenings, baptisms, engagements, weddings, coming of age, funerals, and many religious or semi religious ‘rites’ or celebrations.

9 Friends

Friends are a great source of introductions, and don’t forget their friends, and friends of friends. It can be awkward for a guy to ask a male friend for an introduction to a woman — there may be a competitive edge between the two males, but persist, you never know until you try.

10 Community centres

Communities often hold meetings for the suburb, ward, or county (in the USA). These aren’t often, maybe quarterly or semi annually, but you can meet other residents of your area, but outside your initial neighbourhood.

11 Hot spots

If you have lived in an area for a while there may be a local ‘hot spot’ to meet others in your age group. This can be an event, pub, bar, or local sports or activity centre.

12 Walking a dog

Walking a dog is a great way to meet others in your area — almost every dog owner that passes will make a comment about your dog, and you can make a comment about their dog. You both have something in common and women will often feel ‘safer’ walking their dog.

So that’s your local area covered, now we will go on to your activities, interests and hobbies.

13 Meetup

To meet new people in person you can’t go past Meetup.com Local people organise groups with a myriad of interests — there are millions of these groups worldwide and I would imagine just about every interest or hobby is catered for. Naturally there are more groups in urban areas, but even if you live in a small rural area, you may be able to arrange accommodation through the group organiser to attend meetings. Meetup.com insists that people actually meet face to face and anything from a small group to hundreds can attend an event and there is always a designated organiser that doubles as a host / hostess. This is an online website and is free to join, but to organise there is cost — check out their website.

14 Hobbies

Most people have at least one hobby, which is much more enjoyable shared with others. There are solitary hobbies, but if you can meet others with a similar interest that can be a bonus. There are countless hobbies and myriad of books written about each one.

15 Interests

Most people have an interest — some are topical, some not so much. The huge interest at the moment is ‘Black Lives Matter’ calling for social justice for minorities. Apart from that there are as many interests as there are people on this Earth.

16 Political parties

Some people enjoy politics and want to serve others as a politician. Others enjoy debating and discussing what political leaders say and do. Each political group has an organisation and at least some meetings — check out the internet to find a party whose meeting you may want to attend. Some are free and others involve elaborate dinners or conventions — most will want a donation from you.

17 Exhibitions

Most cities have exhibitions in public places — you may have an art exhibition, a literary, dance or cultural exhibition — most are advertised in local newspapers and on the internet. Some are free, or low cost, whereas others are more expensive. These are great place to rub shoulders with others who enjoy the same as you.

18 Libraries

Although libraries are places where silence is expected, it’s still possible to meet people — you can ask directions to where your favourite books are or chat with the librarian or their assistants. You may meet someone searching for a book in genre you enjoy, or maybe entering or leaving the library. Where I live they provide a brilliant service — they will search for a book anywhere in Australia and get it to the local branch.

19 Events

There are many types of events — some famous like ‘Burning Man’, some not so famous like the local beach sand castle competition. Most events will provide the opportunity to meet people with similar interests.

20 Religious Events

There are the large, highly organised religions and there are the small sects, but most will welcome you to join their service. Most have a ‘holy’ period — in the Catholic religion (that I know most about) Lent starts with Ash Wednesday, a period of fasting follows for 40 days, the crucifixion of Jesus Christ occurs on Good Friday and Easter Sunday celebrates his resurrection. Easter sets the entire Catholic calendar.

21 Public galleries

Most cities have public galleries — at least one main art gallery, several museums, including some special exhibitions, and several music venues designed for live music performances — this includes operas, classic music and themed concerts. Some are free, others low cost and others quite pricey, but a great place to meet like minded people.

22 Historical monuments

Most cities have historical monuments — sometimes fortifications, city walls, cathedrals, churches, gaols, wrecks, reconstructions of famous sailing ships, docks etc. Some offer tours, others pamphlets, some charge admission and others don’t. Apart from locals with an interest in history you can also meet tourists.

23 Shows

There are various venues to host shows, including trade and product shows, so if you have to have the latest gadget this is the place to be. Some of these are to sell products — we have a boat, wedding and lifestyle show here in Perth. Some are free and others charge admission — most want you to book so that, even without COVID 19 they can manage their numbers.

24 Concerts

Most large cities host international artists and depending on the climate can be indoor or outdoor. Some attract over 100,000 people and many have pricey admission charges. Some allow you to bring your own food and drink and some don’t, sometimes charging exorbitant prices for food and drink. Illegal drugs can also circulate at some of these venues. The music can be very loud, and some seats quite a distance from the stage, so not the best place to meet others, but great to see your favourite international artist.

25 Festivals

Most cities host festivals — jazz, beer and heritage festivals are common. Some attract lots and others fewer, some charge and others don’t, but a great place to meet people with similar interests.

26 Sporting events

Most cities have sporting events — Australia have the Australian Open tennis in Melbourne starting at the end of January, COVID 19 permitting, We have a Formula One event, a national horse race called the Melbourne Cup on the 1st Tues in November, all forms of cricket, the AFL grand final in Melbourne and NRL grand final in Sydney and the Sydney to Hobart yacht race in December. Almost all major sports are represented, including children’s versions on Saturday and Sunday morning. Being an official or a member of a sporting club is a great way to meet others with an interest in that sport.

27 Shopping

I have read about this several times, although I have never seen it done in practice. Being tall I sometime see a short woman struggling to get an item off a high shelf and I oblige. I suppose a man could accidently bump the trolley of a woman he finds attractive and start a conversation — certainly women are not on ‘high alert’ as they often are when out in mixed company.

28 Pubs, bars hotels and clubs

There is sometime heavy competition in these venues, with many more men than women. Also people tend to sit in groups and it’s hard to meet women in this situation. Being a ‘regular’ at a venue and knowing the bar staff can help a great deal as you may be able to find out a little about a woman you fancy. You can try your luck when she is alone, like at the bar buying drinks, but many women are quite defensive in these places. Always say hello and be friendly — you may get to know her over time and something may develop.

29 Coffee shops

Many women stop to have coffee at a coffee shop; some even bring their laptop and work from there. COVID 19 notwithstanding, tables in coffee shops are close together, so it’s not hard to eavesdrop, or start a conversation. Again you have a slight advantage if you frequent that venue and know the staff.

30 Meals out

Eating out, even alone puts you with others. Lunches are usually much less expensive than dinners, and there are many more female sales assistants than men, and the same goes for receptionists, PA’s, primary school teachers, bank tellers and nurses, so pick your spot guys — the commercial heart of a city, especially with lots of offices is ideal.

31 Restaurants

Restaurants can work, especially in larger hotels — many women travel and stay in hotels, so you may catch one. The down side is she may be from many miles away, but you can offer your local knowledge, and she may be lonely.

32 Out with friends

When out with friends they may bump into people they know that you don’t and you may get an introduction. Also you have your friend to fall back on and give you ‘moral support’.

33 Public transport

When travelling by public transport you may get the opportunity to sit next to an attractive woman — either can you choose to sit next to her, or she may sit next to you. Either way it’s an opportunity to start a conversation and it’s not seen as offensive. You may see her get on the bus or train, so you can guess where she lives. In any case if it’s on a regular route she can’t be that far away from you.

34 Weekends away

When we travel to another place we are usually more open to asking questions of strangers simply because we may not be able to locate where we want to go. Put your phone away and ask directions — you can always check them later. You may be attending a festival, or coming to see a landmark or historical feature — ask about it — ask where to eat, best place for entertainment etc. Once you have made the connection you may see the person again later.

35 Airbnb’s

With the advent of Airbnb and Booking.com the cost of an overnight stay has reduced considerably. Also you get the chance to chat with the owner of the place where you are staying and can get valuable local information.

36 Holidays and vacations

When you are on holiday you are usually much more relaxed and receptive to trying new things. You may pass through several airports, board and disembark from several aircraft and sit next to or near several people. You may stay at a hotel or resort and meet more people. The downside is they could live several thousand miles from you, but you could also meet someone really interesting.

37 College, Uni, Tafe

You may decide to take a course about a hobby or interest you have and so you enrol in a community college. This gives you the opportunity to meet others in the course over an extended period, maybe several weeks. You may want to upgrade your skills, and enrol in a technical course or college / university. Again you have the opportunity to meet other people.

38 Volunteering

If you have time volunteering can be very satisfying, as not only can you meet others in the organisation you volunteer for, but you will mostly get the opportunity to meet others you serve. Examples are the Red Cross, Oxfam, and CARE Australia. Here is a full list of Non Government Organisations (NGOs) that receive or are eligible for Government Grants https://www.dfat.gov.au/aid/who-we-work-with/ngos/Pages/list-of-australian-accredited-non-government-organisations On top of these are other organisations that don’t receive government assistance — I volunteered for St Vincent De Paul (Vinnies), which is connected to the Catholic church and there are others. Some of these organisations may frown on you forming relationships with ‘clients’ so ensure you check.

39 Service clubs — Apex, Lions, Rotary and others

There are also charitable organisations that give a great deal back to the community. Most people will be familiar with organisations like Apex, Lions, and Rotary — note that some have criteria for joining, but can be found on the internet.

That concludes the activities, interests and hobbies. The following two are internet based.

40 Internet dating

I don’t recommend internet dating sites as their main purpose is to maximise profit for the promotors, there are lots of ‘fake’ profiles, there are usually many more men on a dating site than women, many women get inundated and never return after registering, but are not removed and there are few checks on the people enrolled. Also they tend to work for the more attractive profiles — people seldom read a profile and hence can be a ‘Meet Market’. However, they can work so I have included them.

41 Social media

Social Media is more a place to keep in touch with people who live outside your geographical area, and many people have lots of ‘virtual’ friends. They do have lots of groups and people can post and attend ‘Events’. There are ‘fake’ profiles, so be wary, especially if you meet people socially, at least until you have time to get to know them. They do tend to be extremely time consuming and possibly addictive. Ensure you don’t spend time that could be used more productively to meet people in person.

The next section is work — work was traditionally a great place to meet others, but as harassment and sexual harassment policies have been introduced into the workplace please be careful when approaching a woman at a workplace — know your company policy and abide by it — losing your income is a huge price to pay for a date.

42 Work

There are many sized companies — from one person to large multinational companies employing many thousands of people. As a general rule the larger the firm the more complex the policies and procedures. Larger companies do offer the opportunity to meet more people — many have social clubs, they have multiple departments and many different people to choose from. If you can find a mentor in a large company it will assist no end to getting introductions. Be aware if you meet someone at work and it doesn’t work out there can be ‘fallout’ — there are many stories about the office romance.

43 Inter company

Some larger companies have multiple depots or outlets, and you may have the opportunity of dealing with others at these branches — despite the warning above this may give you the opportunity to meet others outside your area or country.

44 Dealing with associates

Larger companies buy from other companies and this may give you the opportunity to meet people from other firms in your area. Even if you work for a very small company you may get a similar opportunity to get to know the people where you buy supplies.

45 Commuting

Normally people work quite a distance from where they live, so they do the commute — some people may commute several hours a day. Driving isn’t much fun on congested roads, so if public transport is available, and suitable, maybe consider using that — you may get an opportunity to meet a fellow commuter.

46 Travelling

Some employees have to travel for work — many sales reps are in this position. If this is you, use this as an opportunity to meet other people and find out about the places you visit.

47 Conferences

Some larger companies hold annual conferences, or annual ‘get togethers’. These are another opportunity to meet others from your company.

48 Seminars

Various industries hold seminars to keep the industry abreast of changes — if you get the opportunity you may want to attend one or more of these. It will give you an opportunity to meet others in your industry. Make sure you make the effort to keep in touch and build a relationship.

That concludes the opportunities as an employee and the last section is as a business owner.

49 Networking groups

If you are in business you need to meet other people to keep your forward contract full and healthy. There are many of these groups some well known like BNI, others based locally.

50 Chamber of Commerce

Most larger towns and cities have a Chamber of Commerce — join this if you can and attend meetings — some are monthly, some quarterly, and others infrequently. They are usually a great source of information and afford you an opportunity to meet others.

51 Clients and customers

You will have the opportunity to meet and serve clients — some may know other similar people who may be potential future clients. They may invite you to their networking groups, to meet their suppliers and hence you have the opportunity to meet other professionals.

52 Blogs

The last place to meet others is through your blogs — you may impress someone with your knowledge and they may get in touch and even though they may be thousands of miles away it’s another person you know.

So we have 52 places to meet other people and there is mostly some common connection. Naturally you may have to do more than your share of the initial approaching, but it will be worth it if you meet a suitable lifelong partner. It goes without saying you will be best served with a friendly, congenial, helpful attitude whilst you are out and about.

For more information get this FREE eBook https://ayd.net.au/books-and-offers/

Good luck on your journey.

How To Succeed At Dating And Life

Achieve Your Dreams, the world’s pre-eminent site for supporting and promoting men, presents another insight into assisting men to find an attractive female lifetime partner.

This blog is intended for single and unattached heterosexual males over 18 years, looking for a monogamous relationship and caters to divorced, widowed and separated men who are looking to start another relationship.

There’s an old adage that goes like this, “A weak heart never won a fair maiden!” This is true either in dating or life in general. To get ahead you must be courageous, take risks (calculated, of course) and have a plan. Maria Sharapova in an essay in Vanity Fair, wrote: “I’m new to this, so please forgive me. Tennis – I’m saying goodbye. But as I embark on my next chapter, I want anyone who dreams of excelling in anything to know that doubt and judgement are inevitable. You will fail hundreds of times and the world will watch you. Accept it. Trust yourself. I promise you that you will prevail.” (Wikipedia) I think this is beautiful!

Being a top sportsperson requires dedication, single mindedness and lots of hours of practice. When you see a new ‘star’ emerge in sport you may think they have talent, and you would be right, but what you don’t see is the countless hours of practice, the countless hours in the gym, the countless hours watching and learning from other stars in their sport. They practice their shots, they develop their ‘game’ so that they have confidence to pull off the most amazing feats in their chosen sport. Talent is not enough, to get ahead you must practice your craft.

Every sports star has ‘off’ days, but do you see them making excuses – rarely if ever? They know excuses don’t ‘cut it. Many play in pain from slight injuries and once they even entertain the idea of an excuse, they may be tempted to accept the excuse. Many people make excuses, “If only I was this, that or the other,” you’re not, accept it and find a way to camouflage your weaknesses and accent your strengths.

Many men have difficulty with ‘rejection’. In the majority of cases you are not being rejected, she may have any number of reasons why she can’t accept your offer at this time – get over it – there is nothing ‘wrong’ with you. Analyse what you could have done better and move along to the next woman – this is your practice and you will get better with practice. This is how you constantly improve in anything – “Practice makes perfect!”

To succeed at anything you have to believe you can do it. Those who saw episodes of Thomas the Tank Engine will relate to the following, “I can, I can, I know I can.” You must develop confidence and a belief in yourself – if you don’t how can you expect anyone else to?

Play to your strengths, not your weaknesses – know yours. Everyone has weaknesses – it’s human to have weaknesses, but know your strengths and where possible put those forward. A smart general will pick the battle site so his forces have the upper hand – you do the same – get people onto your turf – you’ll feel more confident!

To sum up:

Take calculated risks.

Practice and be single minded.

Don’t make excuses.

Don’t take rejection personally.

Constantly improve.

Show confidence in yourself.

Believe you can.

Know your strengths and keep to them.

Smart general pick the battle site – Always pick where you will show your prowess.

For more information get this FREE eBook https://ayd.net.au/books-and-offers/

Good luck on your journey.

The One Simple Trick To Get Dates With Attractive Women

Achieve Your Dreams, the world’s pre-eminent site for supporting and promoting men, presents another insight into assisting men to find an attractive female lifetime partner.

This blog is intended for single and unattached heterosexual males over 18 years, looking for a monogamous relationship and caters to divorced, widowed and separated men who are looking to start another relationship.

Confidence is the trick – women can’t resist a confident man. Almost all women dream of being swept off their feet by a man; in fact many women have a secret desire to be kidnapped and held captive by the man of their dreams. Contrast that to the approach from a man lacking confidence – “Excuse me Miss, but would you mind if I spoke to you and asked you out?” Can you see how this won’t ‘cut it’ with a woman. She wants to ‘look up’ to you. She wants you to be bold, take risks, be a winner, protect her and sweep her off her feet with your confidence and charm. Unfortunately she has watched, and possibly read, many romantic movies and novels and you are going to be judged accordingly!

Confidence is very important, but it’s not something you can rely on – it ebbs and flows depending on what’s happening in your life. Generally if things are going well you will feel more confident, especially after even a minor ‘win’, but your confidence will be sapped if things aren’t going well or when you have just suffered a loss. This is being human – everyone is the same – just like one memory helps you remember another, one emotion triggers another. If you have a win then you will feel great – your confidence soars, so here are a few tips to raise and keep your confidence at a high level.

Even the most confident people have confidence lapses, but find ways to get themselves up. One of the ways to regain your confidence after a minor lapse is to find a cause outside you – the little voice inside our brain loves to make you the scapegoat – don’t succumb. There are many other possible reasons things didn’t go the way you planned – use one of those reasons, rather than put yourself down and plunge yourself into a downward confidence cycle. Let’s say you finally managed to talk to a woman you really liked, but she was cool to you and cut the conversation short. Most men will assume the woman has no interest, and she may not, but there could be other reasons – she may have been in a mood, it could be her time of the month, she may be playing ‘hard to get’, she may have been late for an appointment, there could be things going on in her life, she may be just shy, she may be still ‘getting over’ her last relationship – ad infinitum. You’ve done the hard thing – you approached her – give her another chance and see how you go – if you get the same reaction then it’s fairly safe to assume she has no interest in you, but that’s a good thing – she may have ‘strung’ you along, you know one more woman, you have gained another experience, and there are always plenty of other women available. Don’t start self deriding about how you aren’t this, that and the other – it’s a waste of time and energy and mostly baseless!

Hang out with confident people. Don’t mix with people who sap your confidence, or make a habit of putting you down, or reminding you of your past mistakes or shortcomings. Some people delight in pulling you down, sometimes even siblings or other family members. You can choose your friends, but you have to work out a way to politely ignore family members who dent your confidence.

Live life honourably, treat people with respect, be tactful, but avoid lying, be prepared to give as well as receive as all this determines your self esteem, and that has a large influence on your confidence.

Compliment yourself when you have done something you planned, had even a minor win, had an achievement, and avoid putting yourself down – be aware of the little voice in your brain that constantly talks to you – train yourself to avoid negative comments.

Practice taking small risks with people and situations, setting yourself up for a win, without jeopardising other people. This will give you that ‘winning’ feeling and you will start identifying as a winner.

Practice talking to women – don’t be apologetic, but don’t be rude, talk to them, practice using charm, practice giving them compliments, practice making them blush, but nicely – it will build your confidence. Practice talking to them when you are alone – talk into a mirror – act the part until you get it ‘spot on’, then when the opportunity arises it will be natural to you, just like an actor playing a part.

Women want to feel special – practice that – each time you do, your will feel a little more powerful around women – you caused a reaction

Don’t be afraid of women – they can sense fear at 1000 paces – they don’t want a fearful, timid man. Show them you ‘fancy’ them – almost every woman wants attention – it will make you more attractive to them

Women aren’t naturally risk takers, but they are attracted to men who take risks and win – opposites attract. Just like feminine women are attracted to masculine men.

Have something to offer, know what it is and market yourself. When you know what you have to offer a woman you will feel more confident. Women want a myriad of things, so there is usually something you have to offer that she wants. She can see your exterior, the way you dress (shoes are important to women), and your demeanour, she can tell by your language your degree of education, she can make a guess about your attitude by the way you speak – don’t whinge, she can estimate your communication abilities, and she can gauge your confidence, by where you look and she has already checked out your manhood , but outside that she is no mind reader, so tell her what you have to offer. Mention all your good to great qualities – anytime you won, even on a team, whether you are reliable, dependable, a man of your word, your ambitions (in brief), and what you are looking for in the longer term – children, career, travel etc.

So to sum up.

A man’s confidence is important to a woman – most find it very attractive.

A man can raise and manage his confidence and so, become more appealing to a woman.

By hanging out with confident people and giving a wide berth to those that sap confidence.

By living your life honourably.

By complimenting yourself when you do good and avoiding negative self talk.

By taking small risks and setting yourself to win.

By practicing talking to women, even when alone.

By making women feel special.

By being a risk taker and winning.

By knowing what you have to offer.

For more information get this FREE eBook https://ayd.net.au/books-and-offers/

Good luck on your journey.

6 Steps Every Man Can Use To Find The Woman Of His Dreams

Achieve Your Dreams, the world’s pre-eminent site for supporting and promoting men, presents another insight into assisting men to find an attractive female lifetime partner.

This blog is intended for single and unattached heterosexual males over 18 years, looking for a monogamous relationship and caters to divorced, widowed and separated men who are looking to start another relationship.

Here are 6 steps to assist you to find the woman of your dreams.

1 Don’t trust to luck

There are many well meaning people who give false advice to guys. I’m sure phrases like, ‘love will come along at the right time’, ‘you can’t hurry love’ and a whole host of other myths and folklore were started in an attempt to ease the pain of someone who had either lost a love or was still ‘on the shelf’ way beyond the acceptable age for the time. These are misleading, to say the least. Adopt these sayings at your peril! You must be proactive – sure some guys will find love easily, but that’s not the norm – you may find you get attention from females, but will that relationships last the distance?

2 Know what you are looking for.

Do you want just any partner? Short term, yes, as you want to get experience, play the field and ‘sow your oats’, but long term is a different proposition.

Let’s start with interests – common interests. As a rule of thumb, you need a match of around 80% (the Pareto Principle, more commonly known as the 80/20 rule). Where you meet will usually have something to do with common interests, but not always – think holiday romances. So you like sport, betting on the horses with your mates in the pub on a Saturday afternoon; she is dead against gambling of any sort, hates sport and likes ballet – not much hope here, but she has the face of an angel and a body to die for… hormonal attraction! Make a list of your interests and then rank them – with those you can’t live without at the top. These are some things to discuss on a date.

Next, picture your life in 10, 20, 30 years – we all have these images – it’s what we expect to happen. Write down this image, including your career, where you would like to live (by the sea or in a rural setting), and the location (overseas, in the city – which city? – or the suburbs). Would you like to live close or far away from family, what kind of house (single or multistorey) would it be? Do you want a pool, billiard room or study (office) or not? And how about children (several or none), your social life (busy or quiet), lifestyle (out socialising or quiet at home), type of car (sports, sedan or commercial), type of furniture (antique or contemporary), number of TVs and where they are situated, movies you like to watch, the sound system, the type of heating and cooling, and so on. Younger people have these images, but assume (ass – u – me) makes an ass out of you and me, and it can be bitterly disappointing when they discover their partner hates their choice.

OK, next is lifestyle. Funding or money – lack of money is the #1 bone of contention in many families and causes untold arguments. How are you going to fund your lifestyle? Are both partners going to work, are you an investor or a consumer, do you save or live from week to week? Do you have separate or joint bank accounts, credit or debit cards or both? What about debt – mortgages, personal loans, family loans, lines of credit, holidays, overseas, local, intrastate, visiting family, trekking, relaxing – who’s going to be responsible for paying the bills. Are you going to share 50/50 from a joint bank account or make other arrangements? And how about personal spending money? Yes or no to big nights out with the family, friends, colleagues, then there’s social media, subscriptions to streaming services, as well as magazines, or book clubs. What happens if you win or are bequeathed a sum of money? And so it goes on – being ‘broke’ or in serious debt is no fun!

Cultural and religious issues are the #2 bone of contention. If you decide to be formally married. Where and how will that occur? What about parents, family members and in-laws? Will they be visited, be invited to your house, and if so, how often? Do you attend religious services? If so, how often, and what about religious periods – Lent for Catholics and Ramadan for Muslims. Then there are donations and tithing to religious organisations, will your children become part of those religious organisations and will they be expected to take part in the rites of that organisation? And what about volunteering for a religious organisation? How often will you do it, and what about visits to holy sites (like Mecca and Rome). And if you are from different religions, whose moral code will you follow? And so it goes on. If you are from different cultural backgrounds, make sure you exchange your expectations in writing to each other.

Values and communication – we all have a fairly rigid set of values, mostly passed down from our parents, and culture and mismatches can easily occur. You may be tolerant towards certain sections of the community and your partner may not; you may prefer honesty over everything; your partner may say anything to escape scrutiny. Write a list of your values down and get your partner to do the same and exchange them. There is a good list of values here https://personaldevelopfit.com/list-of-values/

How you communicate is also important. People have their own preferred ways to communicate – the 3 most common are Visual, Auditory and Kinaesthetic. Mismatches and misunderstanding can easily occur – a visual person will often say something like, “Yes I see that,” an auditory person will often say, “Yes, I hear that,” and a kinaesthetic person will often say, “Yes, I feel that.” Words can also have different meanings in different countries and cultures. Regardless of how hard you try, there will always be miscommunications, especially when emotions get involved in communication. When this happens, apologise and listen to your female partner – she needs to be heard and can fix her own problems.

3 Your interests, aspirations, lifestyle and values will guide you to know where to look.

Women are physically weaker than we males, and very vulnerable when they are pregnant or have young children. They know this and so they are on the lookout for a male who they think will protect them and stay with them. Women are also attracted to winners – this gives them the best chance of survival and the best genes for their offspring. This is biological, not rational. If you go to a boxing or wrestling match you will see women, also at the footy. She wants to see who is the strongest.  Your best chance of meeting the woman of your dreams is places where you are a winner – where you stand out – she will notice. So if you are a great Scrabble player and can win the championship do that rather than go somewhere where you are mediocre or very weak – you’ll face an uphill battle. Women are also attracted to leaders – she wants someone strong, so she will notice if you are leading a group.

Every guy can excel at something – go to those places where you are a winner – she will notice.

4 Know what you have to offer

Women are looking for the best deal they can get in the quest for a partner, just like a man. This is different for every woman, but usually she wants a ‘good man’, someone who is faithful, reliable and supportive, someone who she can talk to, enjoy his company, laugh, have fun, share interests, set up a home with, maybe start a family, have holidays, maybe maintain her career, and hope all her childhood dreams come true. She doesn’t always get everything she wants, but she usually has a good idea of what she wants and knows what she has to offer.

Men usually aren’t so specific, and look for attractiveness, which can be misleading; better to match interests, aspirations, lifestyle and values for a better match. Knowing what you want and communicating that to a future partner will give her the opportunity to make a better decision. However, knowing what you have to offer will not only increase your confidence, but will also serve to get you a better ‘deal’ in the long run.

5 Prepare and practice

If you are a member of a sporting team you will train and practice and a coach gives you strategic tips. If you are a trainee, apprentice or a Uni student you learn all you can about your chosen career. This can take up to 7 years with some professions and yet most men do nothing to prepare themselves for a relationship that could last more than 50 years, and can cost heaps in terms of emotional hurt and financial loss.

Life does not come with a manual – it’s a trial and error journey, which in itself is fraught with danger. Sure, we get information off our parents, peers, advisors, books and Google, but no one questions where this knowledge or advice originated from.

Wouldn’t it be more sensible to make some preparations, take some responsibility, and make your own choices about a potential partner you may be with for over 50 years? Of course it would, so see next step.

6 Approach her.

Many men suffer from fear when they see an attractive woman, and this is justifiable, they are emotional and no one wants to risk rejection, but if you are to meet and date an attractive woman it’s a risk you have to take. She doesn’t think she is scary at all – quite the opposite – she often thinks she is the most approachable woman in the world. Some will respond to your smiles and ‘eye signals’ and some won’t, but she will be aware of what you do. Women won’t wait forever, if you don’t approach her within approximately 5 minutes, she will write you off as either not interested or not worthy of her time.

Ok, so you see her, and are interested. Follow these steps. Smile at her and see if she smiles back – she may or she may not. She will usually be with at least one girlfriend, but no matter – walk up to her, so she can see you are coming, look confident, (stand tall) and smile and say, “I couldn’t help notice you and I had to come over and say hi.” This isn’t cheesy, but is complimentary. You’ve done your bit it’s now up to her, but have a plan in mind. Women usually don’t want confrontation, but she will usually respond and probably smile back. Talk about the place where you are, keep it light – flirt, tease, flirt – show her your sense of humour, compliment her if you get the chance and find out what you might have in common, or who you both know. Ask for her number, she will expect that, but she may or may not give you her number. Don’t take it as rejection – approach other women. Unless things are going really well, excuse yourself after about 15 minutes, and let her see you talking to other women. She may come up to you later in the evening and chat again, and if so, you may get the chance to ask her out, but ensure you always look like you are having a great time.

For more information get this FREE eBook https://ayd.net.au/books-and-offers/

Good luck on your journey.

11 Tips for Getting a Date with an Attractive Woman

 

Achieve Your Dreams, the world’s pre-eminent site for supporting and promoting men, presents another insight into assisting men to find an attractive female lifetime partner.

This blog is intended for single and unattached heterosexual males over 18 years, looking for a monogamous relationship and caters to divorced, widowed and separated men who are looking to start another relationship.

Almost every man has been in the situation where he has spotted an attractive woman and wonders whether he should make an approach – if he’s confident, he probably will, but if he lacks confidence he will probably talk himself out of approaching with any number of excuses. Would you like to have the confidence to approach an attractive woman? Of course you would, so here are 11 ways to make the approach easier – so read on!

  • Grooming and confidence

When you look good, you normally feel good about yourself, so this helps raise your confidence. She is looking for a confident man – someone she can rely on, someone successful (however she defines that), someone who will be there for her, someone who adores her and makes her feel special – how do you rate on this?

  • Know something about her – check Social media

If you know her name check her out on Social media – look at her interests, where she goes, look at her friends – do you have any common interests or friends in common? If you don’t know her name ask her – she will know you are making an effort to get to know her.

  • Have something to give, rather than wanting something

Know what you have to offer in relation to what she wants – see above. No less than you she is not a mind reader, so at least hint you have something to offer. If she sees you are having a good time and enjoying yourself that’s something she will want. In addition, depending on where you meet her, she may want to have a good time, indulge her. She may be busy – make it brief, but make your meeting memorable.

  • Show her you’re interested – that makes you more attractive

If you show her you are interested you have the chance of appearing more attractive to her as people tend to like those who like them. She may or may not show interest – some women will and some won’t. Regardless of your interest no progress can be made until you actually talk to her – she wants you to be bold and confident – don’t disappoint her.

  • Approach her where you star or lead a group

If you get the opportunity it’s best to approach her where you are a winner or a leader. Women are naturally attracted to both. Every man excels at something, so wherever you excel or lead a group is the place to approach her.

  • Don’t hesitate.

Women are impatient and won’t wait forever for you to approach. She may have several suitors in the vicinity, but nothing will happen until someone approaches (women will rarely approach a man they don’t know or feel very confident they won’t be rejected). Approach from an angle she can see you approaching, if you startle her she may become very defensive and reject you out of hand.

  • Be confident, nonchalant and don’t put stress on yourself – make it an all or nothing venture

As you approach her show you are confident – smile, stand erect, and look at her while you speak. She has been lied to before, no doubt, so if you look away or down it could be misinterpreted. It’s not an all or nothing situation so don’t put stress on yourself. Like everything else in life practice makes perfect and the more you practice and become polished the more success you will have.

  • Opening gambit –– practice these 14 words

Once you are there you need to start a conversation – you can use these words, “I couldn’t help notice you and I had to come over and say hi.” You have done all you can, it’s up to her to respond. She may or may not respond positively. If she does keep it light smile, flirt, tease, flirt. Women will rarely cause a scene – most don’t like confrontation – she is more likely to excuse herself and move away. Regardless of what happens remain calm and be polite. Say something like, “Nice to meet you anyway.” There are any number of reasons unconnected to your approach why she may not have responded positively – don’t take is personally. Chat to other women in the area.

  • Ask for her number and make it obvious you want a date

If you get the opportunity show her you find her attractive and want to get to know her. Ask for her number – she will expect that – she may or may not give it to you. Use the same approach as above.

  • Be strong

An attractive woman gets many offers from men and it’s impossible to accept them all. Just like you she has a mental picture of what she is looking for and it just could be you, so unless she is obviously attached make the effort to approach her – at the very least its practice and experience. Women have a tendency to test a man, even after they form a relationship, so be strong.

  • Have a plan – ask her out somewhere specific – not just would you like to meet

Whether you phone her to make a date or you get the opportunity to suggest a date when you meet her always ensure you have a plan. Women complain about this – they want you to take the lead – you are the one asking her out. Early in the dating process you need a place so you can talk and find out what you have in common, people you both know, check commonality in values, lifestyles, and a myriad of other things. Some where she doesn’t have to commit to long periods of time and where she can excuse herself if things aren’t going well is best. Coffee shops, walks, lunches etc.

Like all males, you will have successes and disasters – it’s a learning process, but each time you win your confidence will improve, and despite what your inner voice will tell you, you will win more times than you lose! As the old saying goes, “You have to kiss a lot of frogs before you find a princess!”

For more information get this FREE eBook https://ayd.net.au/books-and-offers/

Good luck on your journey.

Steps to Improve your Confidence with Women

Achieve Your Dreams, the world’s pre-eminent site for supporting and promoting men, presents another insight into assisting men to find an attractive female lifetime partner.

This blog is intended for single and unattached heterosexual males over 18 years, looking for a monogamous relationship and caters to divorced, widowed and separated men who are looking to start another relationship.

Almost every man has been in the situation where he has spotted an attractive woman and wonders whether he should make an approach – if he’s confident, he probably will, but if he lacks confidence he will probably talk himself out of approaching with any number of excuses. Would you like to have the confidence to approach an attractive woman? Of course you would – so read on!

Lack of confidence with women usually starts during those awkward teenage years. It’s more than likely you were hurt, sometimes badly – lied to, dumped, let down, or had your heart and feelings shattered. You may have taken that to heart and began to believe you weren’t ‘good enough’ for a woman. The same can happen to men in long term relationships that have gone ‘sour’ where constant criticism can take its toll.

Teenage girls can be very hurtful, but like you, they are full of powerful hormones they are unfamiliar with and haven’t quite learnt how to control – forgive every girl, or woman, who has hurt you and do it right now. Repeat after me, “I forgive every female who has hurt me to date,” and mean it. OK, I hope that felt better – that’s less baggage to carry around.

I won’t lie to you; women are attracted to confident men and despise weak men, so if you want to get into the relationship game you need be show confidence! If you want a female partner, only you can woo her, and I mean that in all sincerity.

Confidence is a state of mind, and can be improved for every male on the planet. Start with personal grooming – shower before going out, use deodorant, hair washed and brushed or combed, finger nails done, clothes that are appropriate and fit – women notice things like that, especially footwear. She made an effort and expects you to as well and you will feel more confident.

Next is state of mind – you must believe you will have a good time and will be successful – walk, talk, smile  and carry yourself confidently – act like you are having a great time – it’s body language that she will notice. Think of the James Bond character here – Sean Connery was voted the sexist man alive by women of all ages, races and cultures – adapt what you can into your lifestyle.

Next is body image – you must have a good body image to be successful with women. Women tend to prefer larger men as they feel protected, they also prefer muscular men for the same reason, but most of all they want a confident, successful man. If you have a persistent problem with your body image do something to fix it and if you can’t, get professional help – get a life or relationship coach for the quickest, simplest remedy.

So that’s all the preparation you can do, but to get to know a woman you have to talk to her. This is where even the toughest men turn to jelly – fear overtakes them and they run away. Their ‘inner voice’ gives them every excuse why they should not approach the woman. Fear is inbuilt in all humans and there to protect us from danger, but on this occasion we have to thank our fears and act despite them. If you need practice starting talking to strangers while you are out – just smile and say ‘hi’ – it doesn’t matter what they do – most will return your smile and some will reply.

Women know who is ‘checking them out’; they are waiting to see who has the courage to come up and talk to them – she doesn’t think she is scary at all – quite the opposite – she often thinks she is the most approachable woman in the world. Some will respond to your smiles and ‘eye signals’ and some won’t, but she will be aware of what you do. Women won’t wait forever, if you don’t approach her within approximately 5 minutes, she will write you off as either not interested or not worthy of her time.

Ok, so you see her, and are interested. Follow these steps. Smile at her and see if she smiles back – she may or she may not. She will usually be with at least one girlfriend, but no matter – walk up to her, so she can see you are coming, look confident, (stand tall) and smile and say, “I couldn’t help notice you and I had to come over and say hi.” This isn’t cheesy, but is complimentary. You’ve done your bit it’s now up to her, but have a plan in mind. Women usually don’t want confrontation, but she will usually respond and probably smile back. Talk about the place where you are, keep it light – flirt, tease, flirt – show her your sense of humour, compliment her if you get the chance and find out what you might have in common, or who you both know. Ask for her number, she will expect that, she may or may not give you her number. Don’t take it as rejection – approach other women. Unless things are going really well, excuse yourself after about 15 minutes, and let her see you talking to other women. She may come up to you later in the evening and chat again, and if so, you may get the chance to ask her out, but ensure you always look like you are having a great time.

Like all males, you will have successes and disasters – it’s a learning process, but each time you win your confidence will improve, and despite what your inner voice will tell you, you will win more times than you lose! As the old saying goes, “You have to kiss a lot of frogs before you find a princess!”

For more information get this FREE eBook https://ayd.net.au/books-and-offers/ Good luck on your journey.

Never Eat Alone Again

Achieve Your Dreams, the world’s pre-eminent site for supporting and promoting men, presents another insight into assisting men to find an attractive female lifetime partner.

This blog is intended for single and unattached heterosexual males over 18 years, looking for a monogamous relationship and caters to divorced, widowed and separated men who are looking to start another relationship.

The name of this blog is very similar to a book called Never Eat Alone by Keith Ferrazzi –there is no connection, but the book is worth reading.

Another weekend approaches and you have made no plans, so at best it’s TV reruns and meals alone and at worse self medicating with alcohol, drugs and porn – not the most exciting. I suppose you can rationalise and say, “Who cares?” But deep down YOU care – very few humans choose to be alone.

This begs the question, why are you alone? Why haven’t you got a girlfriend or partner? Can you answer those questions honestly?

After talking to many men over the years it usually boils down to one of 2 things – either you have self limiting beliefs or you are scared – fear has you by the balls!

So let’s look at self limiting beliefs – they usually go something like this, “I’m not rich enough, good looking enough, thin or fat enough, short or tall enough, I don’t have the right pad, I don’t make enough money, I don’t have a good enough job and so it goes on. All of these are EXCUSES. Yes, I know some of you have tried and been hurt, used, abused, taken to the cleaners, or have lost everything. So what are you going to do about that – curl up in a corner and withdraw from the world? Good luck with that – your own body will produce strong chemicals to keep reminding you to find a mate. So are you willing to try? If yes read on, if know – bye and I wish you luck – come back when you feel better.

Most of the above excuses are fear based and hide the real reason – you don’t want to be rejected, you don’t want to be hurt again, you are shy, you have an inferiority complex, or you just don’t know how to approach and talk to a woman – avoiding it won’t help – believe me!

Dating is one of the very few things in life we have to do alone, and a woman is looking for a man with confidence (you can employ the services of an Agency, and if you do that, you will be limited to the women they have on their books). So time to face your fears and improve your life – right?

Ok, so let’s start. Have you ever asked yourself the question, “What is a woman looking for?” Yes, what was your answer? No, why not – ask yourself now! Most women are looking for the same thing you are – a relationship, but she wants someone to protect her (she knows she is vulnerable at certain times and when she is pregnant or has small children), be there for her, be reliable, and be dependable. Can you do those things – sure you can! She wants the best deal she can find – just the same as you do, but where you might use attractiveness, she uses confidence as one of her measures – how do you rate? Probably not that well, but that can be fixed.

Confidence is a state of mind, and there will be times you feel and act confidently – can you find those times? When you do – is there an opportunity to meet a woman during one of those times? Many times there is, but unless you are absolutely sure of the harassment policy at your place of work, do not approach a woman there – if you like her invite her to meet outside work and ask her out then. If she refuses leave it there – it’s not worth risking your income, if she accepts, understand that there could be ‘fallout’ if the relationship ends.

Confidence is the sum total of how you feel about yourself, and includes how you rate yourself on everything about you – this includes your history, including your school performance, your looks, stature, attractiveness, achievements, job, your income, social status, friends, sporting prowess, the car you drive, the place you live and many many more indicators. Be easy on yourself, talk to yourself nicely (watch the internal chatter – it’s mostly negative and incessant), and don’t compare yourself, especially to someone way outside your ‘league’. You can make instant improvements for a modest investment – think of hair, clothes, grooming, stature, fitness, interests, places you go, friends and potential friends for a start. If you want a better income, get a better paying position or even a 2nd job. If it’s the job, then work out what you want, study and apply until you get the job. If it’s a better place to live, then rent in a better suburb, or renovate your house. If it’s the way you look then start a gym program, lose weight, get in shape. If it’s the way your spend your time try different interests and hobbies. Every time you achieve something your self esteem and confidence will rise. If you have a persistent problem that you can’t solve yourself invest in a professional – get a coach, see a doctor, even cosmetic surgery is not out of the question. Money is a poor substitute for happiness, and most people feel more contented with a relationship than with money. Most humans (certainly greater than 90%) crave to share their life with a significant other – why should you settle for less?

For more information get this FREE eBook https://ayd.net.au/books-and-offers/

Good luck on your journey.

Relationship Advice For Men: 62 Tips From 62 Experts

Guys are often left shaking their heads in pure bewilderment when it comes to different aspects of their relationship.  Their wives, girlfriends, or partners of some sort or another, just seem to constantly throw curveball after curveball at them, and their left wondering what to do.

Without giving up on their loved ones, they fight back; but this often leads to more stress and even more relationship imbalance.

You see men aren’t schooled in this department of life. We spend years going to grammar school and learning about math, science, history, and multitudes of other important topics, but we never really learn the most important one of all, relationships. Whether it’s the wooing stage, as in dating and attracting women, or the later stage, as in building incredible connections and experiences together, nobody ever really teaches us the intricacies of a healthy relationship.

Look, we weren’t taught how to build and cultivate happy and healthy relationships in school, but it’s certainly not too late to learn how to develop these skills now! The aforementioned tips are just what you need. They consist of the very best relationship, dating, and lifestyle experts in the world; all of whom possess incredibly esteemed backgrounds and track records of proven success.

If you’ve ever wanted to learn the foundations for creating fulfilled relationships, check out these 62 tips from these 62 amazing experts!

Of the 62 experts there were 13 males, 47 females and 2 couples. Most were dating coaches from the USA and had several years’ experience.

Most of the advice was for couples already in a relationship – communication, listen to your partner, include your partner, put her first, be yourself, be fun, keep the magic alive, and pay her attention.

For those without a partner and looking for dates the advice was mainly know what you want, go to places where you have the advantage, use dates to match values, know your motive for dating – long term or one night stand, be honest, both with yourself and her, learn to approach women, phone for dates rather than text, be a man – this is a big one, don’t spend a fortune on first dates and use dating sites as a last resort.

For more details about dating and finding your best match get my FREE eBook click here

The original article was written by Justin Stenstrom and published on Elite Man Magazine – to see the original article click here

What a woman wants from a man?

Achieve Your Dreams, the world’s pre-eminent site for supporting and promoting men, presents another insight into assisting men to find an attractive female lifetime partner.

This blog is intended for single and unattached heterosexual males over 18 years, looking for a monogamous relationship and caters to divorced, widowed and separated men who are looking to start another relationship.

Relationships aren’t easy, and I don’t think they ever were – they take work from both parties and it is our aim to assist men to find and keep an attractive female partner. This all starts with you, the guy and defining the relationship. You have to know what you are looking for; otherwise you will be distracted and may be tempted to choose a woman who may not be an ideal fit for you. For a relationship to last we need emotional ‘glue’ – often called ‘falling in love’, which happens when the emotions of love and sex combine and we think we have found someone who will fulfil our dreams. This is one of Nature’s tricks to propagate the species, and there are strong chemicals involved. On top of this we also need trust, honesty and respect, along with similar interests, values, views on lifestyle, rearing children, leisure time activities and money to name but a few. These are easy to define – just look forward a few years and imagine what you want in these areas of your life. To maximise your chances of success you need to know all this, especially if your relationship goals are to have a healthy relationship. The three main areas of contention in a relationship are money, politics and religion, in no special order – these are deep seated beliefs that you have both had for a long time and aren’t easily changed.

Ok, so you know what you want – what about what she wants. Read carefully for many guys get this wrong – because they want status they assume that she wants the same, and they get this horribly wrong. A woman is vulnerable, especially when she is pregnant or when she has small children and so she wants someone to protect her, be there for her, proves he is reliable and dependable. She wants to be the most important person in his life and outrank everything and everyone – your friends, family, work, customers, business, sport and hobbies ad infinitum. Women are feeling beings, so you have to make her feel when you meet her – make her feel good – compliment her, help her enjoy her time with you – make her laugh, do things you both like, show her you are there for the long term, not just a one night stand. Women are drawn to leaders, so if you lead a group meet her when you are with the group. She wants someone that she considers is slightly better than her, someone she can look up to, someone she can be proud of, someone who has good genes for her offspring and a winner in some area.

This is OK, because almost every guy can win in one area and has at least one talent and an area where they ‘star’ and they can constantly improve their status as they age. Try to arrange to meet her where you are at your best – if you’re a soccer star playing in a soccer match, if you a computer whizz, show her your prowess, it doesn’t matter where you star, you will have a better chance if you are winning or leading.

If you need more information get this FREE eBook for a limited time at https://ayd.net.au/books-and-offers/ if you have comments you can make them via this page https://ayd.net.au/contact-us/ or if you want to make an appointment to speak with us click where you see this Click Here For Appointment

Looking forward to hearing about your success.