Achieve Your Dreams, the world’s pre-eminent site for supporting and promoting men, presents another insight into assisting men to find an attractive female lifetime partner.
This blog is intended for single and unattached heterosexual males over 18 years, looking for a monogamous relationship and caters to divorced, widowed and separated men who are looking to start another relationship.
There are 168 hours in a week — let’s say you need 8 hours sleep each night, and you work full time Monday to Friday, which including commuting and meals times are 12 hours per day, that still leaves 52 hours for most people. What you do with those hours will dictate your success or otherwise in finding a lifelong partner.
So let’s start with where you live
You are part of a community. Maybe you live at home, with friends or alone.
2 Other members of your household
If you live with friends and share accommodation, they will have contacts that may assist you. Your immediate family members may be able to the same. If you live on your own ensure you get out as often as you can.
If you live in an urban area you will probably have neighbours — be friendly and try to get to know them — most people know at least 250 people — I couldn’t believe it either, but when I checked I knew twice that amount and then some.
4 Borrow a cup of flour
Although it’s not as common as it was you could knock on a neighbour’s door and ask to borrow a cup of flour, sugar, milk. It’s a great way to start a conversation and you get the added bonus of returning the borrowed goods.
5 Strata / management committee
If you live in an apartment building with other residents there is normally a committee that meets periodically to manage the building. Normally you have to own an apartment within the building to be eligible, but even as a lessee you could ask to sit in on the meeting and you will meet the most active members of your building.
6 Door to door salespeople
Although it isn’t as common as it used to be, there are still people who go and knock on each door in a neighbourhood — most want to sell you something, so be wary, but if you are new to the area it may be a way of getting information about the community. There is always the religious groups who want to ‘convert’ you, and normally on a weekend.
7 Extended family
You may live away from your immediate family, but have extended family members — grandparents, aunts and uncles, cousins, nieces and nephews (depending on their age). These are a great way to get introductions to women and because they already know a family member you will have something in common.
8 Family gatherings
This again is a great way to meet other people — there are a host of these types of events — parties and celebrations, family reunions, ‘house warming’ events, christenings, baptisms, engagements, weddings, coming of age, funerals, and many religious or semi religious ‘rites’ or celebrations.
Friends are a great source of introductions, and don’t forget their friends, and friends of friends. It can be awkward for a guy to ask a male friend for an introduction to a woman — there may be a competitive edge between the two males, but persist, you never know until you try.
10 Community centres
Communities often hold meetings for the suburb, ward, or county (in the USA). These aren’t often, maybe quarterly or semi annually, but you can meet other residents of your area, but outside your initial neighbourhood.
11 Hot spots
If you have lived in an area for a while there may be a local ‘hot spot’ to meet others in your age group. This can be an event, pub, bar, or local sports or activity centre.
12 Walking a dog
Walking a dog is a great way to meet others in your area — almost every dog owner that passes will make a comment about your dog, and you can make a comment about their dog. You both have something in common and women will often feel ‘safer’ walking their dog.
So that’s your local area covered, now we will go on to your activities, interests and hobbies.
To meet new people in person you can’t go past Meetup.com Local people organise groups with a myriad of interests — there are millions of these groups worldwide and I would imagine just about every interest or hobby is catered for. Naturally there are more groups in urban areas, but even if you live in a small rural area, you may be able to arrange accommodation through the group organiser to attend meetings. Meetup.com insists that people actually meet face to face and anything from a small group to hundreds can attend an event and there is always a designated organiser that doubles as a host / hostess. This is an online website and is free to join, but to organise there is cost — check out their website.
Most people have at least one hobby, which is much more enjoyable shared with others. There are solitary hobbies, but if you can meet others with a similar interest that can be a bonus. There are countless hobbies and myriad of books written about each one.
Most people have an interest — some are topical, some not so much. The huge interest at the moment is ‘Black Lives Matter’ calling for social justice for minorities. Apart from that there are as many interests as there are people on this Earth.
16 Political parties
Some people enjoy politics and want to serve others as a politician. Others enjoy debating and discussing what political leaders say and do. Each political group has an organisation and at least some meetings — check out the internet to find a party whose meeting you may want to attend. Some are free and others involve elaborate dinners or conventions — most will want a donation from you.
Most cities have exhibitions in public places — you may have an art exhibition, a literary, dance or cultural exhibition — most are advertised in local newspapers and on the internet. Some are free, or low cost, whereas others are more expensive. These are great place to rub shoulders with others who enjoy the same as you.
Although libraries are places where silence is expected, it’s still possible to meet people — you can ask directions to where your favourite books are or chat with the librarian or their assistants. You may meet someone searching for a book in genre you enjoy, or maybe entering or leaving the library. Where I live they provide a brilliant service — they will search for a book anywhere in Australia and get it to the local branch.
There are many types of events — some famous like ‘Burning Man’, some not so famous like the local beach sand castle competition. Most events will provide the opportunity to meet people with similar interests.
20 Religious Events
There are the large, highly organised religions and there are the small sects, but most will welcome you to join their service. Most have a ‘holy’ period — in the Catholic religion (that I know most about) Lent starts with Ash Wednesday, a period of fasting follows for 40 days, the crucifixion of Jesus Christ occurs on Good Friday and Easter Sunday celebrates his resurrection. Easter sets the entire Catholic calendar.
21 Public galleries
Most cities have public galleries — at least one main art gallery, several museums, including some special exhibitions, and several music venues designed for live music performances — this includes operas, classic music and themed concerts. Some are free, others low cost and others quite pricey, but a great place to meet like minded people.
22 Historical monuments
Most cities have historical monuments — sometimes fortifications, city walls, cathedrals, churches, gaols, wrecks, reconstructions of famous sailing ships, docks etc. Some offer tours, others pamphlets, some charge admission and others don’t. Apart from locals with an interest in history you can also meet tourists.
There are various venues to host shows, including trade and product shows, so if you have to have the latest gadget this is the place to be. Some of these are to sell products — we have a boat, wedding and lifestyle show here in Perth. Some are free and others charge admission — most want you to book so that, even without COVID 19 they can manage their numbers.
Most large cities host international artists and depending on the climate can be indoor or outdoor. Some attract over 100,000 people and many have pricey admission charges. Some allow you to bring your own food and drink and some don’t, sometimes charging exorbitant prices for food and drink. Illegal drugs can also circulate at some of these venues. The music can be very loud, and some seats quite a distance from the stage, so not the best place to meet others, but great to see your favourite international artist.
Most cities host festivals — jazz, beer and heritage festivals are common. Some attract lots and others fewer, some charge and others don’t, but a great place to meet people with similar interests.
26 Sporting events
Most cities have sporting events — Australia have the Australian Open tennis in Melbourne starting at the end of January, COVID 19 permitting, We have a Formula One event, a national horse race called the Melbourne Cup on the 1st Tues in November, all forms of cricket, the AFL grand final in Melbourne and NRL grand final in Sydney and the Sydney to Hobart yacht race in December. Almost all major sports are represented, including children’s versions on Saturday and Sunday morning. Being an official or a member of a sporting club is a great way to meet others with an interest in that sport.
I have read about this several times, although I have never seen it done in practice. Being tall I sometime see a short woman struggling to get an item off a high shelf and I oblige. I suppose a man could accidently bump the trolley of a woman he finds attractive and start a conversation — certainly women are not on ‘high alert’ as they often are when out in mixed company.
28 Pubs, bars hotels and clubs
There is sometime heavy competition in these venues, with many more men than women. Also people tend to sit in groups and it’s hard to meet women in this situation. Being a ‘regular’ at a venue and knowing the bar staff can help a great deal as you may be able to find out a little about a woman you fancy. You can try your luck when she is alone, like at the bar buying drinks, but many women are quite defensive in these places. Always say hello and be friendly — you may get to know her over time and something may develop.
29 Coffee shops
Many women stop to have coffee at a coffee shop; some even bring their laptop and work from there. COVID 19 notwithstanding, tables in coffee shops are close together, so it’s not hard to eavesdrop, or start a conversation. Again you have a slight advantage if you frequent that venue and know the staff.
30 Meals out
Eating out, even alone puts you with others. Lunches are usually much less expensive than dinners, and there are many more female sales assistants than men, and the same goes for receptionists, PA’s, primary school teachers, bank tellers and nurses, so pick your spot guys — the commercial heart of a city, especially with lots of offices is ideal.
Restaurants can work, especially in larger hotels — many women travel and stay in hotels, so you may catch one. The down side is she may be from many miles away, but you can offer your local knowledge, and she may be lonely.
32 Out with friends
When out with friends they may bump into people they know that you don’t and you may get an introduction. Also you have your friend to fall back on and give you ‘moral support’.
33 Public transport
When travelling by public transport you may get the opportunity to sit next to an attractive woman — either can you choose to sit next to her, or she may sit next to you. Either way it’s an opportunity to start a conversation and it’s not seen as offensive. You may see her get on the bus or train, so you can guess where she lives. In any case if it’s on a regular route she can’t be that far away from you.
34 Weekends away
When we travel to another place we are usually more open to asking questions of strangers simply because we may not be able to locate where we want to go. Put your phone away and ask directions — you can always check them later. You may be attending a festival, or coming to see a landmark or historical feature — ask about it — ask where to eat, best place for entertainment etc. Once you have made the connection you may see the person again later.
With the advent of Airbnb and Booking.com the cost of an overnight stay has reduced considerably. Also you get the chance to chat with the owner of the place where you are staying and can get valuable local information.
36 Holidays and vacations
When you are on holiday you are usually much more relaxed and receptive to trying new things. You may pass through several airports, board and disembark from several aircraft and sit next to or near several people. You may stay at a hotel or resort and meet more people. The downside is they could live several thousand miles from you, but you could also meet someone really interesting.
37 College, Uni, Tafe
You may decide to take a course about a hobby or interest you have and so you enrol in a community college. This gives you the opportunity to meet others in the course over an extended period, maybe several weeks. You may want to upgrade your skills, and enrol in a technical course or college / university. Again you have the opportunity to meet other people.
If you have time volunteering can be very satisfying, as not only can you meet others in the organisation you volunteer for, but you will mostly get the opportunity to meet others you serve. Examples are the Red Cross, Oxfam, and CARE Australia. Here is a full list of Non Government Organisations (NGOs) that receive or are eligible for Government Grants https://www.dfat.gov.au/aid/who-we-work-with/ngos/Pages/list-of-australian-accredited-non-government-organisations On top of these are other organisations that don’t receive government assistance — I volunteered for St Vincent De Paul (Vinnies), which is connected to the Catholic church and there are others. Some of these organisations may frown on you forming relationships with ‘clients’ so ensure you check.
39 Service clubs — Apex, Lions, Rotary and others
There are also charitable organisations that give a great deal back to the community. Most people will be familiar with organisations like Apex, Lions, and Rotary — note that some have criteria for joining, but can be found on the internet.
That concludes the activities, interests and hobbies. The following two are internet based.
40 Internet dating
I don’t recommend internet dating sites as their main purpose is to maximise profit for the promotors, there are lots of ‘fake’ profiles, there are usually many more men on a dating site than women, many women get inundated and never return after registering, but are not removed and there are few checks on the people enrolled. Also they tend to work for the more attractive profiles — people seldom read a profile and hence can be a ‘Meet Market’. However, they can work so I have included them.
41 Social media
Social Media is more a place to keep in touch with people who live outside your geographical area, and many people have lots of ‘virtual’ friends. They do have lots of groups and people can post and attend ‘Events’. There are ‘fake’ profiles, so be wary, especially if you meet people socially, at least until you have time to get to know them. They do tend to be extremely time consuming and possibly addictive. Ensure you don’t spend time that could be used more productively to meet people in person.
The next section is work — work was traditionally a great place to meet others, but as harassment and sexual harassment policies have been introduced into the workplace please be careful when approaching a woman at a workplace — know your company policy and abide by it — losing your income is a huge price to pay for a date.
There are many sized companies — from one person to large multinational companies employing many thousands of people. As a general rule the larger the firm the more complex the policies and procedures. Larger companies do offer the opportunity to meet more people — many have social clubs, they have multiple departments and many different people to choose from. If you can find a mentor in a large company it will assist no end to getting introductions. Be aware if you meet someone at work and it doesn’t work out there can be ‘fallout’ — there are many stories about the office romance.
43 Inter company
Some larger companies have multiple depots or outlets, and you may have the opportunity of dealing with others at these branches — despite the warning above this may give you the opportunity to meet others outside your area or country.
44 Dealing with associates
Larger companies buy from other companies and this may give you the opportunity to meet people from other firms in your area. Even if you work for a very small company you may get a similar opportunity to get to know the people where you buy supplies.
Normally people work quite a distance from where they live, so they do the commute — some people may commute several hours a day. Driving isn’t much fun on congested roads, so if public transport is available, and suitable, maybe consider using that — you may get an opportunity to meet a fellow commuter.
Some employees have to travel for work — many sales reps are in this position. If this is you, use this as an opportunity to meet other people and find out about the places you visit.
Some larger companies hold annual conferences, or annual ‘get togethers’. These are another opportunity to meet others from your company.
Various industries hold seminars to keep the industry abreast of changes — if you get the opportunity you may want to attend one or more of these. It will give you an opportunity to meet others in your industry. Make sure you make the effort to keep in touch and build a relationship.
That concludes the opportunities as an employee and the last section is as a business owner.
49 Networking groups
If you are in business you need to meet other people to keep your forward contract full and healthy. There are many of these groups some well known like BNI, others based locally.
50 Chamber of Commerce
Most larger towns and cities have a Chamber of Commerce — join this if you can and attend meetings — some are monthly, some quarterly, and others infrequently. They are usually a great source of information and afford you an opportunity to meet others.
51 Clients and customers
You will have the opportunity to meet and serve clients — some may know other similar people who may be potential future clients. They may invite you to their networking groups, to meet their suppliers and hence you have the opportunity to meet other professionals.
The last place to meet others is through your blogs — you may impress someone with your knowledge and they may get in touch and even though they may be thousands of miles away it’s another person you know.
So we have 52 places to meet other people and there is mostly some common connection. Naturally you may have to do more than your share of the initial approaching, but it will be worth it if you meet a suitable lifelong partner. It goes without saying you will be best served with a friendly, congenial, helpful attitude whilst you are out and about.
For more information get this FREE eBook https://ayd.net.au/books-and-offers/
Good luck on your journey.