Achieve Your Dreams, the world’s pre-eminent site for supporting and promoting men, presents another insight into assisting men to find an attractive female lifetime partner.
This blog is intended for single and unattached heterosexual males over 18 years, looking for a monogamous relationship and caters to divorced, widowed and separated men who are looking to start another relationship.
Confidence is the trick – women can’t resist a confident man. Almost all women dream of being swept off their feet by a man; in fact many women have a secret desire to be kidnapped and held captive by the man of their dreams. Contrast that to the approach from a man lacking confidence – “Excuse me Miss, but would you mind if I spoke to you and asked you out?” Can you see how this won’t ‘cut it’ with a woman. She wants to ‘look up’ to you. She wants you to be bold, take risks, be a winner, protect her and sweep her off her feet with your confidence and charm. Unfortunately she has watched, and possibly read, many romantic movies and novels and you are going to be judged accordingly!
Confidence is very important, but it’s not something you can rely on – it ebbs and flows depending on what’s happening in your life. Generally if things are going well you will feel more confident, especially after even a minor ‘win’, but your confidence will be sapped if things aren’t going well or when you have just suffered a loss. This is being human – everyone is the same – just like one memory helps you remember another, one emotion triggers another. If you have a win then you will feel great – your confidence soars, so here are a few tips to raise and keep your confidence at a high level.
Even the most confident people have confidence lapses, but find ways to get themselves up. One of the ways to regain your confidence after a minor lapse is to find a cause outside you – the little voice inside our brain loves to make you the scapegoat – don’t succumb. There are many other possible reasons things didn’t go the way you planned – use one of those reasons, rather than put yourself down and plunge yourself into a downward confidence cycle. Let’s say you finally managed to talk to a woman you really liked, but she was cool to you and cut the conversation short. Most men will assume the woman has no interest, and she may not, but there could be other reasons – she may have been in a mood, it could be her time of the month, she may be playing ‘hard to get’, she may have been late for an appointment, there could be things going on in her life, she may be just shy, she may be still ‘getting over’ her last relationship – ad infinitum. You’ve done the hard thing – you approached her – give her another chance and see how you go – if you get the same reaction then it’s fairly safe to assume she has no interest in you, but that’s a good thing – she may have ‘strung’ you along, you know one more woman, you have gained another experience, and there are always plenty of other women available. Don’t start self deriding about how you aren’t this, that and the other – it’s a waste of time and energy and mostly baseless!
Hang out with confident people. Don’t mix with people who sap your confidence, or make a habit of putting you down, or reminding you of your past mistakes or shortcomings. Some people delight in pulling you down, sometimes even siblings or other family members. You can choose your friends, but you have to work out a way to politely ignore family members who dent your confidence.
Live life honourably, treat people with respect, be tactful, but avoid lying, be prepared to give as well as receive as all this determines your self esteem, and that has a large influence on your confidence.
Compliment yourself when you have done something you planned, had even a minor win, had an achievement, and avoid putting yourself down – be aware of the little voice in your brain that constantly talks to you – train yourself to avoid negative comments.
Practice taking small risks with people and situations, setting yourself up for a win, without jeopardising other people. This will give you that ‘winning’ feeling and you will start identifying as a winner.
Practice talking to women – don’t be apologetic, but don’t be rude, talk to them, practice using charm, practice giving them compliments, practice making them blush, but nicely – it will build your confidence. Practice talking to them when you are alone – talk into a mirror – act the part until you get it ‘spot on’, then when the opportunity arises it will be natural to you, just like an actor playing a part.
Women want to feel special – practice that – each time you do, your will feel a little more powerful around women – you caused a reaction
Don’t be afraid of women – they can sense fear at 1000 paces – they don’t want a fearful, timid man. Show them you ‘fancy’ them – almost every woman wants attention – it will make you more attractive to them
Women aren’t naturally risk takers, but they are attracted to men who take risks and win – opposites attract. Just like feminine women are attracted to masculine men.
Have something to offer, know what it is and market yourself. When you know what you have to offer a woman you will feel more confident. Women want a myriad of things, so there is usually something you have to offer that she wants. She can see your exterior, the way you dress (shoes are important to women), and your demeanour, she can tell by your language your degree of education, she can make a guess about your attitude by the way you speak – don’t whinge, she can estimate your communication abilities, and she can gauge your confidence, by where you look and she has already checked out your manhood , but outside that she is no mind reader, so tell her what you have to offer. Mention all your good to great qualities – anytime you won, even on a team, whether you are reliable, dependable, a man of your word, your ambitions (in brief), and what you are looking for in the longer term – children, career, travel etc.
So to sum up.
A man’s confidence is important to a woman – most find it very attractive.
A man can raise and manage his confidence and so, become more appealing to a woman.
By hanging out with confident people and giving a wide berth to those that sap confidence.
By living your life honourably.
By complimenting yourself when you do good and avoiding negative self talk.
By taking small risks and setting yourself to win.
By practicing talking to women, even when alone.
By making women feel special.
By being a risk taker and winning.
By knowing what you have to offer.
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Good luck on your journey.